Be Speechless

I'm nearly speechless.

Hopefully you got the chance tonight to see the amazing lunar eclipse tonight. The artwork God puts on the earth and throughout this universe absolutely amazes me. Our God must be so incredibly creative.

Just think about it.

He (a three-in-one, uncreated, perfect being) has been around forever. He has dwelt with wisdom and filled space with his bigness. Only, in a sense, there isn't any space. So, just because he is a God of creativity, he creates light. (Interestingly, he didn't seem to create darkness...just light to fill it, demonstrating that he is the light). Through this he created what would become the earthly sense of time, something from which God lived and continues to live completely apart. Just these two things are unfathomable. Imagine living in total darkness of which you occupy every space for your entire life (having absolutely nothing else), and then just suddenly having the idea for light and color, and the idea for an abstract sense of time. Yeah, that's right...humanly, that's not really possible (exemplifying the fact that we are creatures and not self-creating). But that was just day one for God.

Day two came and God created the heavens and the earth. Now, even though all there's ever been was an abstract, timeless, dark void, there's suddenly light, color, time, and a physical nature.

But that wasn't enough.


On day three God created seas and land and their separation. On top of creating a planet, God opts to give it both solid and liquid aspects.

And still, God had more creativity coming.

Now, with the earth in place, God decided to add a whole solar system to light up his creation (using his earlier concepts of light and time). And then, just because God really loves creating things, there are birds, fish, land animals, plants...it's amazing.

Yet, God wasn't quite done.

In an incredible act of love and creativity, he created people. Living, breathing, thinking, heart-pumping human beings. And he gave them not just the beautiful Garden of Eden that we tend to think of, but also the rest of the earth. These people were seriously blessed and loved. The only thing was they couldn't eat from this one tree.

And, well...they did.

Unfortunately, the appropriate punishment for this was death. And God is just, so he assured them of their death and many other miserable things while they still lived.

But he was merciful. So, so merciful. He could have not made them or anything in our world in the first place. But he made it anyway.

He could have chosen to kill them the second they messed up. But he didn't.

He could have chosen to leave them hopeless forever. But he didn't.

He let them have children. He gave them the whole earth except for the Garden of Eden. He blessed them with long lives. Best of all, he promised that one day, a Savior would come and offer hope. Justice and mercy have never mingled so beautifully as they have in the being of our God.

That Savior came. Because death was the punishment, but only a righteous person could satisfy the requirement of perfection before a holy God, Jesus came down. God became man.

That's like you becoming your childhood plaything. (Not that we are God's playthings, but I think you get my point.) That's like a US President becoming a rat while still being the President. Yet far, far worse.

It is the king of the whole universe, the one responsible for creating things like we see in space tonight, for designing DNA, for coming up with a concept of time and a sense of light, suddenly reducing himself to the level of something, though once beautiful, which has reduced itself to scum. On top of that, it's that king reduced to scum living the lowest life of all the scum. And then dying the most painful, humiliating death for the lowest of the low scum. While he was still the king.

And yet, Jesus asked for this. This is the really incredible part: he planned this before he ever set the universe in motion. He knew we'd mess up. And he asked the Father for a gift of a redeemed mankind, offering up even his own life. That's how selfless and beautiful this God is, that he would die for his creation, simply to give them redemption. He didn't have to. But he did.

Miraculously, though, he didn't just stay dead. Because he is God, and he promised in milennia past that he would crush death and evil, he did just that. He literally went and defeated death. In other words, he dealt with the devil, did battle in the depths, and arose victorious, because he is God.

And on the third day after his death, he rose to earth. Shortly afterward, he went to heaven to be reunited with his Father, and to do something amazing again: to prepare places for us, broken sinners, in heaven. All we need to do is trust him with our lives. He promises that if we do so, he will send his own spirit to dwell in us and guide our steps.

But, the story gets even better! When all is said and done, when all who have faith in Christ have been called up to him, he will make the final blow on death, causing all those who did not follow him to live separate from him in a miserable place called hell...and bringing heaven onto earth for those who follow him. Literally. The whole earth will be restored and, in the words of the Bible, the lion will lie down with the lamb. There will be no conflict. No pain. No sorrow. Just pure, beautiful love for each other, for the world, and for the God who did all this for us. The God who is so eternal. So creative. So just. So merciful. So loving. So awe-striking. So miraculous. So beautiful. So GOD.

Tonight, I'm looking at the red slowly fading from the moon. And I'm realizing that my role in this whole world isn't really that big. But I know that there is a God out there who is huge and amazing and who loves ME. Who lives in me. Who knows me better than I know myself. Who sustains my very breath. Who has a unique call on my life. Who placed me in the universe. Who gave me hope. Who gives everything its being. Who will never, ever fade. Who lived and died for me. For you. For the broken, messed up world.

And I am speechless.

Shalom.

Meridian

Gladness, Hunger, and Glory

Anyone who knows me remotely well is very aware that my deepest desire, other than to see my Savior in his glory, is to end the killing of innocent children in America. I've probably concocted a hundred plans in my mind since I was very young on just how I'm to accomplish this: writing, film, medicine, education, statistics, pure politics...you name it. And recently, I've had cause to rejoice at the incredible victories being won across various states on this pressing issue. Yet, there is so much work that is still unfinished, in an area where my talents could help fill the void. And that, my friends, is why I wrote this post.

One of the many godly people in my life is very fond of quoting Frederick Buechner, who once said, 

The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.

I'll admit it: the first time I heard that quote I wasn't sure how well it settled with me. What about people who are called to be janitors? Fishermen? Something, well...simple?

And then I read Martin Luther:

All our work in the field, in the garden, in the city, in the home, in struggle, in government-to what does it all amount before God except child's play, by means of which God is pleased to give his gifts in the field, at home, and everywhere? These are the masks of our Lord God, behind which he wants to be hidden and to do all things.

 And it all made sense. You see, God is a God who uses means. I post a lot about his infinite sovereignty over all things, but it's rare that I'll post on the doctrine of vocation because it is just so simple. God can, and in fact, does control the whole world. And yet, he chooses to use means. He chooses simple people, like you and like me, to accomplish things big and small. In the end, he uses every action for his great glory. How cool is that? You and I get to be part of a bigger plan, a bigger purpose...It's like any great saga: Each of the characters, regardless of their silent presence or hugely noticeable dialogues, serves a purpose. Yet this is a thousand times better, because you and I are wrapped into the tale of all history. That is, his story.

The question begs, then, what is each of us to do? It's a question which has been on my mind almost perpetually these last few months, as my friends and I are choosing our various paths in life. One friend is choosing dance, another neuroscience, another education, and still others are undecided. I've realized more than ever that I'm so dependent on my Savior's grace. And it's caused me to ask myself who I am and where I'm going.

One of my favorite teachers, Mr. B., once taught me rhetoric. And there he taught me something which left me in a contemplative mood for weeks:

Theorein (verb, Greek): To gaze intently.

Mr. B. explained that this word is often the word used in the Bible to describe people who have seen the face of God. He then showed us this image, pasted on my mind for weeks:

God showed Moses his face. And, in the Greek translation of the manuscript, Moses did theorein: he gazed intently, in total awe and amazement of Yahweh. Once he had seen this, he was given a command to lead the people of Israel out of their captivity. Notice his response:

 But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you[b] will worship God on this mountain.” 

 Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am.[c] This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”

And, after a few more complaints raised by Moses, and many more assurances from God Almighty, these are the Lord's words:

Then he will let you go.

My friends, each of us has a deeply ingrained, God-given passion. Whether it's engineering, teaching, politics, medicine, or art, you have it, and you know it. If you don't know it, you have only to ask.

Sometimes it's so difficult for us to understand the words of 1 Peter 2:9, yet I think they address the issue at hand:

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may declare the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

If you are in Christ, you are part of that. That is your heritage.

The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness, the world's deep hunger, and, I might add, God's deep glory meet.

Soli Deo Gloria.

~Meridian

I AM

Excuse me. I am not. But don't worry...I know I Am. :)

If you've already read/heard Louie Giglio discuss this topic, the underlying concept of what I'm about to say won't be new to you, but perhaps the applications will be.

Lately, my life has been confuddled with a multitude of different activities and academics. And all it's done for me is pile into a big heap of worry, stress, and uncertainty. I know, great way to start your senior year.

I find myself asking questions. Who am I, really? What was I made to be? What will I study? Where will I go? What will I do? When will it happen? Can I afford it? Will I be happy?

My thoughts whiz by me at a million miles a minute. And ultimately I end up completely exhausted, unable to sleep, and more than a little stressed. What good is it all doing me?

Frankly, none. But recently I found encouragement in Louie Giglio's excellent book, I am not but I know I AM. That is, if God's name is I AM -- he is goodness, he is greatness, he is power, he is love, he is strength, he is kindness, he is mercy, he is justice -- then my name must be I am not -- not good, not great, not powerful, not loving, not strong, not kind, not merciful, not just. But God in his excellent greatness has called me out of darkness into his marvelous light. It reminds me of Plato's cave, only I'm no longer chained down: I've been set free! What's more amazing, I am part of a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, that I may declare the excellencies of him who did this great work. (1 Peter 2:9) But the most mind-blowing, humbling part of the whole deal is that God -- the one who is all goodness, greatness, power, love, strength, kindness, mercy, and justice -- sent his own Son to die for me the worst death, a death stripped of all goodness, greatness, power, love, strength, kindness, mercy, or justice. He looked on him as if my sin was his, and he looked to the future. He saw me, and despising his own Son, he loved me. I, dead in my sins, sick with a gross and unsightly nature, was looked on and loved by this great God. This God who is everything. His name says it all: I AM. And I have to realize, with much humility and gratitude, that I am not. 

Whoa.

So, as I've gone through my daily life, I've been asking myself how God, in his omnipotent greatness, truly satisfies my desires. As I study like some kind of SAT-maniac, and begin to stress over not having high scores, I pray aloud, Lord, you are the source of all wisdom, and I am not. I trust you. My day goes on, and suddenly I panic about my debate case. And I pray, Lord, you are the winner of every argument, and I am not. Speak to me. Again, I can find peace. Then, I realize I have to determine a college application and nervousness overwhelms me. But the Lord is good to remind me of himself, and I pray, Lord, you are the great shepherd, and I am not. Lead me.

These little acknowledgements of the Lord are not magic spells, but they do amazing work on my heart. Each time I remind myself of the Lord's presence and relevance in my life, I realize all over again just how beautiful it is that HE IS GOD, and I am not. 

Many of you will remember the song, "He's got the whole world in his hands." That song was my favorite as a child. I loved to sing it over and over and do all the motions with it:

He's got the whole world in his hands

He's got the whole world in his hands

He's got the whole world in his hands

He's got the whole world in his hands

Looking at it, the song seems pretty repetitive. After you've sung it a few times, you get the idea and you're ready for it to end. But I think there's something profound to learn here: God really does have the whole world in his hands. Because God's name is I AM, and thus, we are not. Even so, he chooses in his goodness to keep the whole world in his hands.

Somehow that's easier to believe as a child. A child's parents feed him, clothe him, shelter him, take him everywhere. His troubles consist of scraped knees and broken Lego sets. Then, at some point, he realizes the world is much bigger than he will ever be able to handle. More than a thousand of him could handle. More than the whole world can handle.

It's no wonder John Newton wrote his infamous hymn, "Amazing Grace." Newton was a slave ship captain, an adulterer, and a drunk. His youth was spent on women and wine. Then, in a

terrible storm, God caught Newton's attention. In months, Newton went from being a slave to sin to being a preacher of freedom, both man's and God's. Newton was considered the worst kind of heathen: no man on earth could have turned around his life. And, God didn't have to do it. After all, he is God. But he did it for Newton.

And he did it for me. And for so many of you. So my stresses come. Tomorrow, I'll study for the SAT. I'll research for debate. I'll work on essays for college applications. I may even do some political work. And you know what? God's name is still I AM.

Soli Deo Gloria!

~Meridian

[i am not]

Some things I want to do in my lifetime...

...possibly in this order.


-Become proficient at singing and piano and perhaps one or two other instruments
- Go to a God-honoring college and major in English and/or History, with possible minors in Music, Education, Physics, and/or Government.
-Become fluent in Latin and possibly Greek
-Consider going to Law School (but most likely, don't actually attend unless I love the prospect)
-Run long-distance
-Work in the political world
-Attend the University of Oxford for at least one term for the experience, or possibly longer for a MA in History
-Somewhere in between the above steps, or shortly thereafter, get married to a Godly, intelligent man, and love him well
-Be a missionary for 6 months or a year
-Have kids any time after getting married, love them as dearly as old Mrs. Sowerby in The Secret Garden, and teach them to fear God and to love his precepts and creation
-Teach a handful of other eager students these same things
-Create a peaceful home where love is abounding and learning is encouraged
-Have a large garden (after all, I'll have plenty of little hands around to help! :D)
-Run a home business of tutoring or something like that to help aid with the family income
-Begin to grasp the things I love
-Paint in Italy
-Spend some time writing in Switzerland
-Possibly publish a scientific paper
-Throughout all of this, finish an epic poem or fantasy novel worth reading regardless of era


Underlying thing to do: Serve my God and be willing to add things to this list, and take them off just as easily, according to his will, and my submissiveness first to my parents, and then my husband. ;)


Meridian

Hehe. ;)

"It must be very improper that a young lady should dream of a gentleman before the gentleman is first known to have dreamt of her." -Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey