You may wonder why I write my blog posts so few and far between. I think I have finally just realized myself why this phenomenon is: it is because I only write when I feel I have really begun to grasp something, that something has so penetrated my heart I might be able to communicate it to another person. And yet at the same time, it just far off enough in the distance that I must write in order to understand it fully. And so here I am, writing to you dear and faithful readers the thoughts which come to mind on my nineteenth birthday.
I've spent long years fighting myself. Fighting my sinful tendencies. Fighting my competing desires. Fighting depression and anxiety. Fighting pride. Fighting all sorts of things that certainly must be fought against. But here is the understanding that the Lord has impressed on me: though I fight against these things, it is not really these things against which I should fight. No, it is against spirits and principalities which bring these things upon me that I ought to fight, and ultimately against which I do fight. This fight is holy, and is commended by the apostle Paul.
But there is a fight against myself that I have, and which I can tolerate no longer: it is the fight against my own actions, and moreover the fight over how to best use myself for God's glory. It is not that these are things which I should not consider: to the contrary! I must consider them with all weight. But what I have realized lately is that these things are merely symptoms of a greater design: a greater plan which God has bestowed on my life.
You see, God allowed me to have weaknesses. He wants me to trust him to make me more conformed to his image. And of course that has to do with my actions: but it hardly begins there. For out of the heart comes a man's deeds. God also has bestowed me with gracious gifts. He wants me to trust him to lead me in the best way to use those: really they are his gifts to me, so he has a purpose in mind for their use.
Well, anyway, I'll just get to the meat of what I am trying to articulate: we must stop fighting ourselves in two ways, and we must turn all our energy to the one place we should be fighting. What do I mean? Allow me to explain.
First, we must stop fighting ourselves in such a way that we beat ourselves down. I have been so impressed lately that the battle against evil in the world is really won first and foremost in the hearts and minds of the righteous. Think of this like training for a race, or even for battle if you will. The competitor, or soldier, does everything within their power to improve everything they possibly can. They recognize their weaknesses, and they do their very best to improve them. But the best athletes and the best soldiers know that you cannot always address one small issue: that very issue is quite often symptomatic of a much larger, deeper problem, one that must be addressed in part by some outside party. Suppose there is a health-related problem: a doctor or nutritionist must come in. Or perhaps there is a technique that the athlete cannot master: that may require a specialized trainer. The athlete or soldier does not give up: rather they work with all their might to perfect their game on every minute level. Yet the last thing they should do is tell themselves that they are unable to overcome, or worse yet, that they most overcome difficulty on their own when it is impossible. So it is that we must struggle to work out our own salvation (with fear and trembling, nonetheless). And we must obey our Lord as he guides us to remove any sin, or to acquire holy habits, in our lives. But do not -- I beg you -- do not try to fight against yourself. It only serves to tear apart your very core: your heart and your mind.
Friends, if Satan can get a hold of your mind, or worse, your heart: then all really is lost. But if you can win the battle for your mind: not against yourself, but against the great tempter and confuser, then you have already won half the victory. Even this fight -- in fact, especially -- this fight is one which you must rely on the Lord to win: and yet of all battles, this is one of the only two battles you must win. You must win the battle for your mind/heart and the battle against sin. Yet neither is against yourself, or at least your new self: it is against your old self and moreover against Satan who insists on tempting you. Trust in the Lord, friends. This battle may not be over: but it is already won.
But my second point is this: do not fight among yourselves. Oh, how it must grieve our Lord to see us arguing over small matters when the Gospel, and life itself is at stake! Do not hear what I am not saying: I believe that it is so worthwhile for us to have conversations about all sorts of matters of indifference. In fact, I encourage them wholeheartedly! But if we allow such things -- as we so often do -- to overshadow the greatness of proclaiming God as the Lord over all creation, and to faithfully carry out the plain implications of that ... how misguided and petty we have become.
Do you know the quickest way to lose a battle or a competition? I believe it is simply to turn the members of the company or team against one another. If there is a legitimate cause for disagreement, and the captain has not given direct instruction, let them quarrel until the matter is clear. But if there is something greater at stake, let them listen to their captain and follow his clear orders. Our Captain is Christ. May we ever follow him.
Allow me to clarify what I mean here: I hope it is clear to you, my fellow believers, what I mean by the Gospel. I mean the full work of God in bringing his people on earth, allowing them to sin, sacrificing himself for them, justifying and adopting them through the death and resurrection of himself, living himself in them and so sanctifying them, and both now and forever bringing glory to himself through them. But here is what we forget. God will not only bring his glory and his will in a day to come, but right now, through his people. And any man who knows what is right, and does not do it...to him it is counted as sin. Brothers and sisters in the Lord, bear witness to the Gospel. And do it in every way that you are able. Share the love of Christ with those you know and those you don't, and speak truth at all times.
At all times.
Not just when it is comfortable. Not just when it is "un-political." Not just when it means you'll get a smile in return. I am not even asking you to speak all truth at all times: but, to the best of your ability, always speak the full truth that must be spoken.
And this is my third point. It is not against flesh and blood that we battle, my dear friends, but against the principalities of this world. It is against evil itself that we fight. We all know that in a great story, few people care about the individual battle against a "random" soldier. Why is that? Because we know that the fight is truly between right and wrong, just and unjust, natural and unnatural, moral and immoral ...the battle is between good and evil.
When you know that millions of children die every day at the hands of ruthless murderers, only to have their organs sold, without any option of their own, how can you stand by? If prayer is your gift, then pray fervently. If speaking is your gift, speak passionately. If giving is your gift, give generously. If mercy is your gift, mercifully reach out to those in dire need of hope, and rescue them from the pit that is abortion.
When you know that gay marriage is wrong, and is an abomination to the Lord, how can you not be grieved into action? Again, whatever your gift is, use it.
Of course, I am not asking you to pick up every issue that ever arises. Yet if you are in a position where you may be held responsible before God for not acting, I pray you will understand that you are compelled to act. And especially wherever God has burdened your heart, I implore you not to ignore that calling, but rather to embrace it and pursue the Lord. Will it be hard? Of course. I have learned this, and still feel certain I have only scratched the surface of deep hardship and pain on account of my choices. Yet one thing I have learned: the joy of the Lord is my strength. Though the mountains be shaken, and the hills be removed, His love will never be shaken, nor his covenant of peace be removed. I look to a fulfillment of his promises in eternity. Yet now, I work toward those promises with all diligence.
But I don't want this to be a sad, depressing post in the end. No, I want this to be hopeful. You see, we serve a God who loved us so much that he created this world. Without need. And then made us. Without need. Then let us make our own choices. Without need. And then redeemed us. Certainly without need. And then lived in us, worked through us, and promised us eternal peace and joy with him. All without need. What a great and mighty God we serve! He has given us something which is not a burden, but instead a privilege: the privilege of fighting in his army, for a war in which we already know the outcome: we win.
Friends, the battle is already begun. I leave you with the words of Patrick Henry, and I urge you to turn your battles to the places where the war is blazing.
"They tell us, sir, that we are weak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance, by lying supinely on our backs, and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir, we are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power. Three millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations; and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come.
It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace, but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
~Meridian
